Thoughts
by Ultimate-Bear
Summary: He hated seeing the rain. The rain inflicted him pain, which he had caused. But he watched it because he needed to remember. Oneshot. UKUS.


_Tap._

 _Tap._

 _Tap._

His head swayed back and forth at every single sound of the raindrop landing on the clear window. His bored eyes just stared at the drops of water falling outside while his hand tapped his own chin, trying to get along with the beat.

It nearly seemed impossible though, for only one thought revolved in his head.

Alfred.

The British man gritted his teeth. For days, he had tried not to think of how cute the American was. The way his sapphire eyes twinkled when he felt successful. The way he pouted every time he didn't get what he wanted. The way his smile can brighten up the room even more than the sun. Everything about Alfred seemed endearing to him and Arthur wanted nothing but him.

But it felt impossible to him. The American, for one, was distant when it came to him. It stemmed from the events of the Revolutionary War. And it happened on a rainy day such as that event.

He hated seeing the rain. The rain inflicted him pain, which he had caused. If he just didn't go overboard with such ideas and laws, then maybe he would still be in his arms, smiling while his face was being ravished by the Brit himself. Maybe their hearts would've never been broken. If only such things never happened, then maybe those old days would still continue and both of them would still be their happiest.

But he had to watch that rain because he needed to remember. Needed to remember the mistakes he had caused centuries ago. Needed to remember that that's what shaped them into what they are now. Needed to remember that that was the exact reason why he could never reach Alfred. Never make him fall in love with him. Never call him his even if he desperately want to. And it made him realize that all those dreams will be nothing but fantasies that will never come true.

It really hurt Arthur just by thinking of it. But those events made him set a boundary. Made him at least sane. Made him separate fiction from reality. And it saved him from actually weeping at night because of the pain Alfred would give him just by his actions.

Arthur sighed. There was nothing he could do, right?

All of a sudden, a knock was heard. Arthur's head turned to see Alfred opening the door immediately after knocking. The elder man scowled.

"Can't you wait for me to answer it?"

"It's boring."

"And how did you even get into my house?!"

"Door was open."

Arthur groaned. He needed to remember to lock it next time. Alfred chuckled. "Sorry, dude. I guess I got excited."

That chuckle felt like music to his ears. Yet Arthur knew that he couldn't overthink.

Instead, he sighed. "Well, what do you want?"

Alfred grinned. "I was thinking if...well...you'd like to come over to my place. Just the two of us."

That caught his attention. "T-The two of us?"

"Heck yeah, Artie! We'll play video games, order pizza, and even sleep on the same bed. Won't that be way awesome?"

But Arthur was still shocked. "J-Just the two of us?"

The American sighed and pat his head. "Well, of course. We haven't really been talking that much anymore and I just want to make things up. It's a bro night. What do you say?"He held out his hand, hope shining in those sky blue eyes.

Arthur wanted to hesitate at first. He couldn't be serious, right? That damn American was probably pulling his leg or something. In the end, it might be a prank pulled off by he and his 'buddies'. And in the end, his heart might even be more torn as it is.

But then...maybe...just maybe, he should give Alfred a chance. Sure, he had done a lot. But after the Revolutionary War, he probably wouldn't be stupid to break him again. The damage was already more than enough. And Arthur noticed that there was sincerity in Alfred's eyes.

He really meant those words.

So he smiled and shook his hand. "Alright then."

Alfred gasped. "R-Really?"There was a mix of light and hope in those eyes of his. That alone made Arthur's heart jump. But he kept his composure. "But you better not suggest watching a horror movie this time."

"Hey come on! I won't scream this time."

Arthur gave a smug smile and rolled his eyes. "Alright."

"But...seriously...thank you for accepting it. I never really thought you wouldn't come. I-I've just been planning for so long that I...got nervous..."

Before Arthur could even respond, Alfred crouched down and kissed Arthur's cheek. Both felt immense heat on their cheeks. And when Alfred pulled away, Arthur was shocked. Did he really kiss him?

Alfred laughed softly. "Well, I better be on my way. See you on Saturday, dude!"

With that, he left.

Arthur gently touched the spot where the kiss was. Did Alfred really kiss him?

All of a sudden, the negative thoughts and hopeless dreams turned into something beautiful. For the first time, he felt his heart light up like a blazing fire. He finally felt complete after all those decades.

It was then decided. Arthur smiled.

Maybe there was really still hope for him.

* * *

 **I wrote this under 10 minutes and it was super random so I'm sorry for that. I hope you enjoyed it though!**

 **-Ultimate-Bear-sama**


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